Edition 25

Baby it's cold outside?

Author

Hailey Pietraszewski
January 23, 2025

Dear Gentle & Saucy Yappers,

I thought my snow days were behind me after leaving Minnesota for the south but here we are! If we ignore all the implications of snow in Texas, it was honestly such a fun time. Never in my life have I seen people excited for snow. A snow day in Texas was basically a mental health day where everyone reverted to their child-like selves. And to the Texans who are snowboarding on the freeway and sledding in laundry baskets… pop off!

xoxo, Hailey Girl

RANKING OF THE WEEK: Top 5 on my “Hear Me Out Cake”

  1. Hades from Hercules - I think it’s the confidence he exudes

  2. Ghostface - I fear weirdos on the internet have made this normal but it’s not (I admit that!!) and he remains on the cake

  3. Nick Wilde - this man is a Furries strongest arguing point!

  4. Joker (Heath Ledger) - of course Heath Ledger but not of course to Joker

  5. Count Orlok - long ass fingers

R.E.P.O.R.T.

R: READING

JUST READ: The Death of Jane Lawrence: 3 stars (92/117 overall ranking)

Although I could have done with the slightly gory scenes, I enjoyed this book for the most part! The story did get a tad complicated for my taste. Jane is truly a relatable character in the way that in about a weeks time she goes from: not believing in love —> being down bad for a man she does not know —> wanting to believe a man’s potential over the credentials he is showing her —> ending up with a very questionable man who she gives a million chances. Going into a book blindly often does me dirty but this was a fun read to go into blindly because it kept me guessing on what on earth was going on. I was really betting on the male main character being a werewolf (he was not).

Favorite Quote: “Life was worth more than a sum on a page, and yet it was only worth a sum on a page.”

CURRENTLY READING: The Storyteller by Jodi Picoult

Although I have never read a book written by Jodi Picoult. I feel I know her well. She just seems like one of those authors that has BEEN an author before books re-entered their trendy era. This is also one of those books that has a million different covers so I picked my favorite one to display. What is this book about, you ask? Once again… I have no clue because this is a book club pick!

E: EATING

Restaurant: Mutiny Wine Room

I may have discovered a new Houston favorite of mine. The vibe was a 10/10 and the price was not horrible considering the amount of wine I consumed. This food was all on the happy hour menu.

Charcuterie and Cheese Focaccia Pizza: I need more places to start doing this. We chose a cheese (raclette) and meat (Jamon serrano) from their charcuterie board selection to put on the pizza.

Truffle Steak Fries with Black Garlic Aioli: I should have listened more when the server explained what and how black garlic aioli comes to be because it was life changing. I highly recommend if you see black garlic aioli on a menu you immediately order.

Intoku Wagyu Steak Skewers: If you are confused about the lack of skewers… same, but I would be lying if I said it did not absolutely slap even while missing the sticks. Maybe the skewers were the friends we made along the way!

P: PLAYING

Music:

I immediately need my vibe to stop including “tiktok dance.” Yes Tiktok is back (was it ever really gone?) but these artists deserve more than a tik tok titled vibe! Megan and Charli are main characters on my 28th birthday playlist. The vibe? 69 of the sluttiest, cuntiest, and most fun songs to celebrate your birthday to, of course!

Song Recommendation: Her - Megan Thee Stallion

Podcasts: Binchtopia

Another banger from Eliza & Julia in their most recent episode of ‘How to Destroy a Celebrity.’ They discussed PR of celebrities. It truly was wild hearing about all the women who have been outcasted for simply being “annoying” meanwhile Chris Brown and Shia Labeouf still have active careers. The lesson I learned is that it would be much easier to be a publicist for a male celebrity over a female celebrity.

Television: Tell Me Lies

I have made it to season 2 of ‘Tell Me Lies’ and without spoiling anything for people who have not watched… Stephen is genuinely insane. I am so happy that I cannot relate to ever interacting with a man like.. THAT. My favorite ongoing “joke” from that show is the girl’s use of “puswah.” Because truly that is just such a more sophisticated and cute way to say pussy!

Movies: Juror #2

Ok another movie starring Nicholas Hoult this month! This is the kind of movie that makes my mind spiral on “what would I do in this situation?” A moral dilemma will always have me hooked. Because what would you do if you unknowingly (and accidentally) killed someone and then ended up on the jury hearing the case of the man falsely accused for your murder?

Rating: 7/10

O: OBSESSED

General: UDA Dance Nationals

UDA Dance Nationals are also known as the dance superbowl. Although I will always root for my Florida State girls… this is the ONE sport (yes I said: SPORT) that I will root for one team more than FSU. The University of Minnesota is that GIRL. The jazz performance… I sobbed. The pom performance… full body chills. I personally feel MN was robbed from a first place jazz routine once again but I know I’m biased. The athleticism from this team is truly out of this world.

Pop Culture: Justin Baldoni vs. Blake Lively

Let me start out by saying… I am obsessed with this pop culture moment in the way where I am obsessed about NEVER hearing about it again. What side am I on? NEITHER. I have come to truly dislike both of these individuals. Every detail I have heard has been forced upon me against my will (me watching a tik tok willingly). At the end of the day all of this is truly just embarrassing… Here I thought it couldn’t get more embarrassing after the movie’s wardrobe but I was indeed proven wrong!

R: RECOMMEND: Matches and Memories

If you follow the yapple instagram, you already saw this BEAUTY. A fellow yapper made this print and I am simply obsessed. We love a woman owned small business! I highly recommend ordering from @matchesandmemories on instagram! Because these are the perfect gifts and personalized home decor staples.

T: TREAT: Wine Flights

Wine flights are for the indecisive girls! I pretty much will at least slightly enjoy any white wine. In this flight I loved the first two and made a face after trying the third. Fret not… all three glasses were finished but the worst one was finished first because you cannot end on a bad note!

SAUCY TAKE OF THE WEEK:

Covid ruined a lot of things and it changed the trajectory on how a lot of things are done forever, but people do not talk enough about two 24 hour things that were taken from us. 24 hour walmart hours and 24 hour mcdonalds breakfast. How often do I visit Walmart during the hours they are now closed? Barely ever if ever. THAT’S NOT THE POINT!! I would like the option!! God forbid a girl has an ice cream craving at 1am. What am I to do? Because we all know Mcdonald’s ice cream machines stop working at those hours. Now onto the Mcdonald’s issue… I was someone who jumped for joy when they made breakfast 24/7. I rarely ever get to enjoy Mcdonald’s breakfast with their unreasonable breakfast hours, especially when I have a strict bagel routine I enjoy every morning. Let me enjoy a McMuffin at noon please!!!

SAUCY STORY TIME (YAPPER WRITE-INS):

The year is 2016 — this girl I have a mutual with starts going to FSU and is in my major. Our mutual friend asked if I would take her to one of my academic fraternity events and I said, “ofcccc!” Then we find out that we have a class together! She sat with me for one class period before she tries to start cheating off me on a test. I told her, “absolutely not sister,” and she disappears off the face of the planet. I found out she flunked and went back home to the college close by. Okie whatever bye girl.

YEARS LATER (2018) I start dating a man (we went on 1-2 dates literally so casual) and decided we wanted different things. He was 25 and wanted to get married and have kids, I was 21 and was not ready for that phase of life yet. We had a cheeky little hook up and then moved on with our lives like adults. One little caveat, I learn that his ex gf who he has not been in a relationship with for 6 months is that girl. I genuinely think nothing of it bc again her and I weren’t even acquaintances.

And thennn I find out that she has started going around town saying about me “that whore —- one week we’re best friends, the next weeks she’s fucking my boyfriend”

So recap:

  1. We were not friends

  2. They were broken up for 6 months

  3. I never had sex with him

And then she continues to run a smear campaign on my name and block me on every SOCIAL MEDIA SITE. Including FACEBOOK (insane behavior). And here’s the thing - I don’t give a shit about her whatsoever, until she starts work at MY job last year (2023) and starts trying to tell one of my bosses that I hate her and am trying to ruin her career?? Literally so confusing. Lucky for me I am well established at my job so they didn’t believe her. And now everyone at my job knows she’s insane and she cries every day and now that she’s leaving everyone is celebrating her demise. Not that it’s a competition but I won!

SOCIAL MEDIA CORNER:

TWEETS OF THE WEEK:

TIK TOKS OF THE WEEK:

  • Help! The youths are making thirst traps!

  • Winter Storm Scaries

  • I feel like I would be a better performer than him

  • Political and censorship scares aside: perhaps we were all a tad dramatic about the Tik Tok ban

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