Edition 18

'Tis the Sick Season!

Author

Hailey Pietraszewski
December 05, 2024

Dear Gentle & Saucy Yappers,

The only good part about being sick is unlocking the sexy sick voice but unfortunately I am sick and without a sexy sick voice so what is the point? Now that it is officially December this Yapper has the Christmas spirit! One day Yapple Sauce will have an insane giveaway like the other big influencers but today I come to you with the saucy content as usual.

xoxo, Hailey Girl

RANKING OF THE WEEK: Iconic Blair Waldorf Outfits

Tired of seeing incorrect rankings so here is mine coming from a girl who tried to base her high school style (poorly) after her:

R.E.P.O.R.T.

R: READING

JUST READ: Twenty Years Later: 4 stars (33/110 overall ranking)

Honestly I felt like I had been going through a reading slump with my thriller books but this one brought my love back for the genre. I predicted almost nothing correctly and I loved that. It kept me entertained and wanting to pick up the book which is all I can ask for!

Intermezzo: 3 stars (86/111 overall ranking)

The difference in ranking between this book and Twenty Years Later is why I rank books because stars can only tell you so much. This was 100% a literary fiction/thought daughter read…and I don’t know if I was smart enough for it. The writing style was just simply not anything I could remotely enjoy. I would describe it as reading a character’s stream of consciousness. The reason it still got three stars is because I enjoyed the way it made me think and the stories of the characters who were all depressed in different ways were interesting but I truly felt dumb while reading this.

CURRENTLY READING: The Wedding People by Alison Espach

I know they say to not judge a book by it’s cover but if I’m doing it in a positive way… I think I get a pass. Immediately after seeing this cover, I put it on my ‘Want to Read’ because it is so damn cute! Looking at this cover I fully thought I was diving into a romance book but after reading the first chapter I hope I’m not reading a romance book! The description - which I do forget to read from time to time - is making me feel that this is why we don’t judge a book by it’s cover but regardless I’m excited about the surprising plot (surprising to only people who don’t read the description).

E: EATING

I fear everything that my sister and I made for Thanksgiving turned out… AMAZING. If there is one dish that I still find myself thinking about a week later it is the sweet potato casserole. The layer of pecans under the layer of marshmallows was a forever game changer.

P: PLAYING

Music:

Spotify wrapped took forever to arrive this year but came just in time for this week’s newsletter. I felt quite underwhelmed on the overall vibes. Cannot help but feel Mr. Artificial Intelligence was the “mastermind” behind the theming. I did hear a rumor that all the girlies who had a “Pink Pilates Princess Strut Pop” moment are extremely hot (I’m the one who is spreading that rumor). If you were to ask me my top five artist predictions… these five are exactly who I’d say. If Spotify did top 10 artists my predictions for the additional 5 would be: Meg Thee Stallion, Lana Del Rey, Billie Eilish, Olivia Rodrigo, and my mans Post Malone.

Podcasts: Brooke and Connor Make a Podcast

I like to consider myself a smart gal but my achilles heel is mispronouncing words. It has never been my strong suit BUT Brooke and Connor have created a safe space for the people who struggle to speak. My ultimate life goal would be having a podcast but damn the editing would need to go hard or I’d have to expose my pronunciation skills. In a recent episode of BNC they said they were “big fans of pointing to the menu” and that is exactly my vibe.

Last Week’s Poll: It truly is a divisive question. Would you rather your significant other’s exs look NOTHING like you or EXACTLY like you. 42.86% of Yappers said they would rather they look EXACTLY like them and the slight majority (57.14%) said they would rather they look NOTHING like them.

Television: Who Killed JonBenet Ramsey?

When I saw this on my recommended section of Netflix, my first thought was “hasn’t this been made 500 times?” In a very festive manner, I binged watched this on Thanksgiving with my sister. Although it is impossible to not know about this case given the notoriety, I did not know many details. I will note - this documentary seems to heavily favor the innocence of Jonbenet’s family and from the little knowledge I knew before this documentary - most people think they are guilty. I think I also thought that having almost zero knowledge about the case but now I don’t know what I think? I just don’t believe any one theory fits this case and there has to be a combination of situations happening. I DO KNOW that several times my jaw was on the floor because the things that were said about this CHILD in the media were truly disgusting. I feel like I shouldn’t be shocked anymore but it will always disgust me. Regardless of who is guilty it is clear that the police in this case did a horrible job on investigating this case.

Movies: Hot Frosty

If you’re not watching horribly cheesy Christmas movies in December you are doing the holiday season incorrectly! I’m not sure if Hot Frosty was horribly cheesy or just horrible BUT it was horrible in a fun way! Something did not sit right with me about shipping a woman with a man who was formerly a snowman and has the cognitive functioning of a child. I’m not above admitting the movie had some clever one-liners! Pop off Gretchen Weiners I guess! I’m glad I watched it but I will not be voluntarily watching it again.

Rating: 2/10

O: OBSESSED

General: Unhinged Facebook Groups

Yappers…I don’t think we as “normal” people remind ourselves enough how much a privilege it is to be the type of human beings who are not seriously in unhinged facebook groups (I may consider joining one for entertainment purposes though). Facebook CLEARLY is not a Yapper because they suggested this group for me. I’ll give it to this cybertruck owner… he found a way to make the car uglier than it already was. A nearly impossible task. What TRULY got to me were the comments on this post (overwhelmingly in support of this wrap decision??). Facebook comments in general (but specifically in unhinged groups) will always entertain but also make you lose your faith in humanity.

Pop Culture: Gift Guides/Holiday Season

The pop culture diva of the moment is Santa Claus himself because once Thanksgiving is over the people are WAITING to get their Christmas on. Perhaps because this is the content I am seeking out but all of my social media is full of gift guides! Tis the season of consumerism! The Yapple Sauce gift guide has DROPPED and I call it: What I Would Want for Myself if I didn’t Already Own It

R: RECOMMEND: ‘Best Case Scenario’ Journaling

This is for my anxious people or just the friends who go through all the potential negative outcomes of a situation. I was influenced by this tik tok to try out ‘Best Case Scenario’ journaling and have implemented into my morning routine. I am not one to take away from my sleep schedule but it can be done even once you get to work because it takes less than 5 minutes and can be done on your phone or on your computer. Personally, I do it in the journaling app on my phone. Basically you write out how your day will turn out if everything goes correctly! I instantly loved this idea because I always am thinking about the worst case scenarios so it definitely would not hurt to manifest the best case scenarios. I know if my therapist was a yapper she would approve of this recommendation.

T: TREAT: Decorating for Christmas

Decorating for the holidays is one of my favorite parts of the season. So many of my ornaments and my tree skirt are from my grandma. It is fun mixing the old with the new. All the props to the people who can do themed tree’s because I love too many different kinds of ornaments to stick to a singular theme. Themed trees are for when I’m rich and have multiple Christmas trees.

SAUCY TAKE OF THE WEEK: Christmas Music

Sticking to the overall Christmas theme but I don’t love Christmas music. I am not a hater by any means but I will not spend my free time listening to Christmas music unless I am engaged in a festive activity. I did find a Christmas playlist that I feel is perfect vibey background music BUT that is the most positive thing I will say about it.

SAUCY STORY TIME (YAPPER WRITE-INS):

My husband and I attended a dear friend’s wedding recently and truly had the best time. There were so many fun moments and it was just an all-around good time. However, there was a woman, who we shall name her Karen (I fear it’s fitting). She was a HOOT! There’s a group of us drinking by the bar in the hotel lobby and she comes outta nowhere (clearly buzzed and feeling good) and sits at the head of the table. We willingly yap away with her and she engages in some back-and-forth with my husband. One moment in particular that comes to mind is Karen asking my husband “do I look like I smoke cigarettes?” to which my husband replied “100%.” She found that hilarious. Let’s just say, they were giving each other shit and it was funny to watch. My husband steps away to get another drink from the bar. She then makes a comment, which I do not hear, and two of my friends look at me with shocked faces. They are laughing at this point so I join in on the laughter – this woman then says she hopes she is not being disrespectful and she is just “bantering” with him. I laugh it off because it is providing us all with great entertainment. The friend sitting next to me turns and says “you have no idea what she said do you?” I said “nope, no idea.” To my surprise, Karen had called MY husband HOT. Like yes, thanks girl, I agree… but WHAT!?!?!? I still then laughed it off because what else am I to do? I just can’t believe a middle-aged woman felt comfortable enough to tell a man’s WIFE and friends he was HOT. Now do you see why I chose the name Karen?

SOCIAL MEDIA CORNER:

TWEETS OF THE WEEK:

TIK TOKS OF THE WEEK:

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