Edition 19

Baby, Grind with meeee

Author

Hailey Pietraszewski
December 12, 2024

Dear Gentle & Saucy Yappers,

I found myself sitting in my cycle class listening to Pretty Ricky’s classic hit “Grind With Me.” There was a point in my life that I thought that grinding would be a large part of my future and I truly don’t think grinding has even slightly crossed my mind since my middle school days. I may need to consult with my sister in 8th grade if grinding is still part of the youth of today’s culture because if not maybe we as a society moved on too quickly from the grinding phenomenon.

xoxo, Hailey Girl

RANKING OF THE WEEK: My Favorite Childhood Infomercials 

  1. Rainbow Art Set (I had a vision of doing BIG things with this art set)

  2. Floam (floam walked so the slime world could run)

  3. Chia Pets (cha cha chiaaa - need I say more?)

  4. Betty Crocker Bake n’ Fill (as a gal that doesn’t love cake and was too young to be baking cakes when this aired - its surprising that this never left my memory)

  5. Bendaroos (I feel the infomercial oversold the power and utility of Bendaroos and maybe I even knew that as a child but I saw the vision)

R.E.P.O.R.T.

R: READING

JUST READ: The Wedding People: 5 stars (5/112 overall ranking)

Yes you read that ranking correct. A book being this high in the rankings is a Yapple Sauce first but I feel truly changed as a person after reading this book. It’s truly crazy how fictional books have the power to do that to you. When I first started reading this book I wasn’t understanding the hype. I thought, “this is alright but nothing special” but then it just HIT. I’m not sure how to explain the book but it does a great job of handling serious subjects in a light manor while making you appreciate just being alive.

Favorite quote of the book: “I didn’t want to be saved from myself. Nobody does! All we want is permission to stand there naked and be our damned selves.”

CURRENTLY READING: Magnolia Parks: Into the Dark by Jessa Hastings

It’s finally time for me to finish this series. Or maybe catch up with it? I feel there may be one more book after this one. I have not heard the most positive reviews about this book which is disappointing because I am quite fond of this series. One thing I immediately know is that this book does not need to be as long as it is but I’m ready.

E: EATING

Restaurant: North Italia

Yes, I have already reported on North Italia but I got something new so therefore there is something new to talk about! Although I fear I should have stuck to my tried and true. This is why I end up ordering the same exact thing every time once I find a dish I love at restaurant. I’m not saying the pizza was gross by any means but I was looking at my friend’s chicken parmesan with pure jealousy in my eyes. The crust was phenomenal, the flavor was good, but the cheese was severely lacking.

This is for my sick girls who need to just throw something in the crock pot. I should also add the tik tok girly said this is a High Protein White Chicken Chili recipe but I felt pretentious adding that in the title because I am simply not a fitness or nutrition influencer. My raving review of this recipe is that I actually finished all five servings of the meal prep and that’s impressive because usually I am tired of any meal prep after two or three days of it.

P: PLAYING

Music:

This little app (Superfan) that gives me these weekly music vibes truly does a good job. If you told me to relate these three artists into one sentence I would be lost because they are quite different but I am absolutely belting out Take Me to Church, Pink Pony Club, and All Eyes on Me.

Song Recommendation: Pink Pony Club by Chappell Roan (obviously)

Podcasts: The Comment Section

With the amount that I love and rave about Drew Afualo, I am surprised I haven’t mentioned her podcast in Yapple Sauce as it is a weekly listen of mine. It is probably because it is so common to myself how I feel after listening to her speak. Empowered. Drew really is THAT BITCH and I strive to have her level of confidence.

Television: Queer Eye

I do not care if you think this show is cheesy because it truly just makes my heart so happy to watch this show! I love watching people’s confidence grow and feel the happiness that they deserve to feel. Although as a certified crier this show is a difficult watch because after 9 seasons I can probably count on one hand the amount of episodes that DIDN’T make me cry. I’m not just talking about a singular cutesy tear… I’m talking about ugly sobbing. But I’m willing to ugly sob because I’m so happy for the “heroes” on the show.

Movies: Love Hard

Keeping up the theme of Netflix Christmas rom-coms! A much better and easier watch after Hot Frosty. But at the same time… it was still a Netflix original movie. It was cute and I was entertained but I would not seek this movie out for a second watch. I just don’t think I’m the target audience for the era of Netflix romance movies. I hate how annoying this makes me seem but I just want a rom-com to make me feel the same way “10 Things I Hate About You” made me feel. Maybe I just need to lower my expectations because this movie wasn’t bad but it was not great in a way that I feel like I will remember it.

Rating: 5/10

O: OBSESSED

General: Xavier Legette

I considered not name dropping this man (a well known NFL player) because in full transparency, I did DM him on instagram and I’m still hoping for a response. If he does respond… don’t be shocked if this section is mysteriously edited out. He is my current crush and I cannot get enough of watching his interviews. I mean you know you’re down bad when you are listening to the man talk about how he skins and eats raccoons for Thanksgiving and I’m still twirling my hair and swooning. Anyway… Xavier if you’re reading this… Hiiiiii! I’m willing to try raccoon for you!

Pop Culture: Luigi Mangione

 

Truly a lot of pop culture is happening at the moment and it’s hard to keep up but you are truly living under a rock if you haven’t heard of Luigi Mangione. Who knew all it took to unite this country was a hot criminal? My social media has been a united front since this man did his thing. They truly cannot find a bad photo of this man!

R: RECOMMEND: Starting a Bit on Instagram

For those of you who follow my personal instagram you are probably well aware that I rank every espresso martini I try and share it on my story (no one asked me to do this). And for those of you following the Yapple Sauce instagram you may have noticed that Sunday’s are officially “Saucy Sunday’s” where you all can submit your yaps. This is your sign to do one of those bits for yourself because it makes social media more enjoyable and you’ll find that other random people will enjoy it too.

T: TREAT: Apps

When people think of treats in the food realm, they think of desserts. As a savory gal though, I need to put respect on appetizers’ name! I rarely get appetizers at dinner but then when I do I immediately think, “Why don’t I always get an appetizer as a treat?” Especially when that treat is White Truffle Garlic bread with a side of vodka sauce.

SAUCY TAKE OF THE WEEK: Posty’s Country Era

I feel I cannot give this saucy take in my good conscious before prefacing it with my love of Post Malone. He is one of my favorite artists and I love how he constantly switches up his music style. But… the current country era is my least favorite era of his. I do not dislike this era in the slightest but something had to be last. I only think this is saucy because I feel like this is a lot of people’s favorite era of Post Malone and that’s where our opinions differ. Aesthetically though…. I’m always in support of a cowboy look!

SAUCY STORY TIME (YAPPER WRITE-INS):

Hailey has made it clear that I have too many stories to not have submitted anything, so I think it's only right to share one of my crazier stories since I made her wait so long. (This story is from my single days, my now bf has heard this story and agrees its insane lol). SO, in 2020, I started chatting to a guy I knew in college. For the sake of not being a total bitch, I will give him a fake name (but will gladly tell you in person his full legal name as well as show you pictures). Let's call him Kyle (awful name for an awful human). Kyle and I knew each other in college and ran in similar circles. The entire time I knew him in college, he had a girlfriend who was super sweet. At parties, I always caught a vibe Kyle liked me, but I chalked the feeling up to being obsessed with myself and thinking every guy wants me (cuz they do). Flash forward to 2020 to when lockdown was lifted and Twitter was still good. Him and the girlfriend had broken up. Kyle flirted the way one did back then by liking SEVERAL of my tweets and sadly that was all it took back then for me to like a man. Its also important to note that the ex texted one of my friends asking if him and I were talking bc she saw him liking my tweets and she ALSO THOUGHT HE LIKED ME IN COLLEGE (told you, they are all obsessed with me). We eventually started chatting in DMs and everything kinda escalated quickly. After about a week or two of texting, we planned to meet up to hook up and to save y'all a lot of boring context, we made it a regular thing and decided we weren't in a committed relationship, but we were dating. THIS IS IMPORTANT. He said that we were dating, working towards more but we BOTH weren't sure what we wanted, so we were having fun until we did figure it out. I would go visit him on weekends, I would stay at his place for days on end (planned stays that he asked me to do), he invited me to different events with his friends (bar nights, golfing, dinners) where I was the only girl there. I was basically the token girlfriend of this man's friend group without being an actual girlfriend. During this time, I went to Huntsville (where we went to school, eat em up kats) to visit friends and ran into a bartender who was the ex-girlfriend of Kyle's roommate. Long story short, she told me she knew Kyle was hooking up with someone else. Again, we weren't committed so while my ego was hurt, I was more annoyed from a hygiene standpoint. I confronted him about it and he admitted it and PROFUSELY apologized and took me out on a date to say sorry (nothing crazy literally Katz Deli so whoop-di-doo) even though I told him idc if you hook up with other people, just tell me. Flash forward about a week or so, he said he had a friend visiting who I knew from college. This friend was a girl and all I knew about her was she could be a little crazy (like mean to girls crazy). I knew they had been friends and never picked up on any weird vibes between them so I genuinely didn't think twice about her coming to visit. Everything was normal until he stopped texting as much, we lost our snap streak (big deal for 2020), and then he posted on his Snap story a pic of him with the boys at a concert. I cheekily swiped up and said "wow, can post on your story but not respond to me? Damn, you've changed" to which he responded "haha i'll talk to you tomorrow." Needless to say, I was annoyed lol. This story is not going to go where y'all think, it's worse (in the best way). The next morning, I wake up to a few texts from friends who knew of mine and Kyle's situation saying things like: "Dude, what happened?" "Did you see that" "Have you gotten on Facebook?" I opened Facebook to see that Kyle's relationship status had changed to ENGAGED. And yes, it was to the mean crazy girl. After taking time to pick my jaw up off of the floor, I obviously texted Kyle "lol what is this" cause ?????????? what else do you say???? I absolutely thought he was going to say "we were drunk and it was a joke" or something along those lines. INSTEAD, I get the following message (give or take a word or phrase, it's been almost 5 years): "Sorry I wasn't texting you, but yes it's real. Jane (i dont remember her name) and I are engaged. We've known for a very long time that we would get married one day, we just work. We thought it would be later in life, but we decided we should just commit now, I'm sorry I led you on." LED ME ON BROTHER??????? You had a whole ass fiance-to-maybe-be waiting!! Is there a ring? Are y'all going to start planning? Do your parents know? These are all questions I asked and just so Y'ALL know no, no, and shockingly YES bc they CALLED THEM before posting (they were not supportive). As you can imagine, this became my personality for months. There are follow up stories with Kyle that I would be HAPPY to share later if the people want it. But I will leave you with this, to EVERYONE'S surprise I'M SURE, they did not ever get married. I'm just as confused as y'all, ily bye!!

SOCIAL MEDIA CORNER:

TWEETS OF THE WEEK:

TIK TOKS OF THE WEEK:

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