Dear Gentle & Saucy Yappers,
There is a high chance that I’m not meant to be a Pilates princess simply because I have big boobs. Now I still will challenge myself and do hard things but my titties find their way to get in the way of most Pilates positions.
xoxo, Hailey Girl
RANKING OF THE WEEK: Foods I Prefer Aesthetically over Taste
Cotton Candy - could be the number one most whimsical treat but it just does not taste like anything special
Oysters - love their aesthetic but this is a PRIME example of this week’s Saucy Take (stay tuned)
Cake - Now I like cake but I always prefer the presentation
Sushi - This one probably only applies to me because I don’t enjoy the taste of sushi but most people seemingly do
Salads (most of them) - Now some salads do indeed match their aesthetic in taste but there are a lot of pretty salads and they don’t all taste that good
R.E.P.O.R.T.
R: READING
JUST READ: Deep End: 1 stars (192/199 overall ranking)
If this book didn’t have a swimming plot, I fear I wouldn’t have even finished the book. It was a STRUGGLE to pick this book up. Everything about this book gave me the ick. This felt silly to me and I was uninterested in the smut because as much as she wanted to say her interests did not have to do with her trauma…. I was not buying that. He gave me nothing and I felt zero chemistry between them. Also don’t get me started on her being with her friend’s ex plotline.
CURRENTLY READING: Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder
Since my last read took much longer than expected, it’s time I started one of my book club books read! I’m hoping this weird book will take me out of my reading slump.
E: EATING
Restaurant: Padre’s Wine
Perhaps 2026 is the year that I discover I love a Houston wine bar! I have unlocked another favorite place. I feel all is right in the world if I can have grilled cheese paired with wine. I was having a difficult time choosing between all the fabulous food options and of course my wine was CRISP. On top of everything, the space was super open and cute. I will be returning to Padre’s Wine.
P: PLAYING
Music:
If you are curious as to why Broccoli made it to my top 3 songs this past week in the year of 2026, you clearly did not read last week’s edition of Yapple! When looking for a playlist for my frat party on Spotify I was getting frustrated because it felt like all the good ones lost the plot. Like they just kept adding songs they liked and not songs that gave 2015-2018 frat vibes. I made one for myself of course and I may revisit this playlist from time to time.
Song Recommendation: Doses & Mimosas - Cherub
Podcasts: Giggly Squad
Paige and Hannah were discussing the current Pilates fad and I have been thinking about this too. This is zero hate towards Pilates but I am concerned about the amount of Pilates studios that are popping up while other studios are closing. Because like everything, I feel there will be a new workout everyone is obsessed with down the road and then these boutique Pilate studios will face the same fate of closure.
Movies: They Will Kill You
I’m super curious if I missed something about this movie. The whole time I was watching the movie I thought I was being pranked. This may be the worst movie I have ever seen. It feels like the movie was bad on purpose? I was shocked to see that the rotten tomatoes rating was around 60%. Much too high.
O: OBSESSED
General: Cosmopolitan
I’m not sure if I have been missing out but the Cosmopolitan articles EAT. I started following their Instagram after this post found it’s way on my feed because obviously I can trust this news source. They are giving me the pop culture information that I care about! Someone give whoever wrote this article a raise!
Pop Culture: Olivia Rodrigo
I have been WAITING for Olivia to release new music. Her third album, “you seem pretty sad for a girl so in love” has been announced. Also it was announced that she will be doing double duty on SNL so much Olivia content is on the way. I am ready! The album cover eats down and although I’m surprised at the Lana Del Rey-esque album title, I’m not mad about it!
R: RECOMMEND: Watching the Manosphere Documentary
Typically I put my movie/documentary recommendations in the “Movie” portion of Yapple but this deserves it’s own ‘Recommend’ section. I especially recommend this if you are have or are having children (boys). I was sort of aware of the ‘manosphere’ or the ‘red pill’ men content but what I knew was that it was gross and to get it far from me. I was not aware of how spooky this all truly is. The scariest part of it all is how this gross and scary stuff is being pushed on young boys. Truly the scariest “movie” I have ever seen. I will say it until I am blue in the face that people need to watch this or be very aware of this.
T: TREAT: Treat Walk
I know I have endorsed a treat at the end of a walk but what if I endorsed a walk that centers around the treats. Multiple stops, multiple treats. The first stop was Lucianna’s for kolaches, a morning bun, and banana bread. Then a cute sip was absolutely necessary where of course, I got an iced matcha.
SAUCY TAKE OF THE WEEK: The Concept of Foods
A lot of people don’t like certain foods for their texture. If it’s not because of the taste, I don’t like foods for two main reasons: the smell and the concept. Now hear me out! I know this sounds weird but it makes sense to me. For example, I have tried beef tartare. I enjoyed the taste! I will never have it again. The concept sickens me and I feel sick thinking about it. I really wouldn’t have even tried it because of the concept but I was peer pressured. But not even me liking the taste helps with me not being on board with the concept.
YAPPY HOUR: Sick Men
We have all heard the stereotype that men cannot function while dealing with the common cold while you would never know that a woman was dealing with that same sickness. I think that makes sense because women are quite literally trained to have insane pain tolerance with their periods. That’s not even considering the child birth of it all. Basically this is just a reminder that women are so incredibly strong and men can’t even handle the concept of our regular pain tolerance as seen by their reaction to being sick.
Submit your saucy story time here!
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I know what he means but I’m not letting it slide.
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