- Yapple Sauce
- Posts
- Edition 8
Edition 8
Hailey Pietraszewski
September 26, 2024
Dear Gentle & Saucy Yappers,
The positive feedback about the website has made me emotional! I am honored to surround myself with people who uplift my crazy ideas instead of humbling me. If you aren’t currently surrounding yourself with those type of people I would immediately change course. I’m at the tail end of my saturn return year (27) and apparently that’s when shit changes and I’m manifesting that Yapple Sauce is a part of that change for me. Hint for the 10th edition surprise: there will be prizes ($$$)! Stay saucy and stay tuned!
xoxo, Hailey Girl
RANKING OF THE WEEK: NFL Quarterbacks that I would leave my drink alone with
 Spoiler: Deshaun Watson is no where on this list |
|
R.E.P.O.R.T.
R: READING
JUST READ: Brother: 2 stars (90/98 overall ranking)
From the rating and ranking you can probably guess that I simply did not enjoy this book. It was extremely dark yet boring at the same time. I always find books with interesting concepts but poor executions to be the most disappointing. How was it possible that a book about a family full of killers and a sprinkle of cannibalism made me yawn? The last fourth of this book was the only entertaining part but it was too late and not enough to redeem the book as a whole.
CURRENTLY READING: The Dead Romantics by Ashley Poston
 | I'm officially ticking off the "spooky romance book" on my fall bucket list with this read. Just started it, and from what I gather, our leading lady (who yes you guessed it.. is a struggling WRITER) is about to start swooning over a ghost. Oh, and by the way, she and her dad can just casually see and chat with ghosts. This fact was just casually mentioned and then we moved on. Here is where I struggle with fantasy books. I mean, come on, I need at least a whole chapter dedicated to explaining how we're all just chill with ghosts. |
E: EATING
Grocery Store: Central Market
 | The experts of Tik Tok have long influenced me to go to Central Market, many calling it the Erewhon of Texas. I’ve always wanted to try their sandwiches but after having Cherry Peppers stuffed with Prosciutto and Mozzarella and doused in olive oil from CENTRAL MARKET. I had multiple reasons to haul my ass over there. The gorgine sandwich to your left is the California Connection. Sourdough bread with turkey, chipotle mayo, avocado, CARAMELIZED ONIONS, tomatoes, basil pesto, salsa pesto, and provolone cheese. This is a top 10 sandwich of all time no hesitation. Consider me a new Central Market regular customer. |
Recipe: Pumpkin Bread with Maple Glaze
 | Yapple Sauce has been recipe dry for a few editions but this bread is here to feed the yappers. Ms. Lesley and Ms. Summer baked this bread with me via facetime on the first official day of fall. The streusel on top is the game changer even though the entire thing is good. I don’t feel like this photo does it justice. Pumpkin anything will have me salivating and this is added to the list of successful pumpkin recipes. To all the pumpkin haters: I’m sorry you don’t have taste! Although my “bake a fall treat” fall bucket list item is officially checked off, I am hoping this to be the first of many. |
P: PLAYING
Music:
 | The fall playlist worked because I am officially in my fall music era (featuring Quavo because I really enjoy his Fly remix)! Drumroll please… because I finally saw Hozier. The initial tour date was cancelled due to weather and now here we are almost five months later. He has been a bucket list artist for me and it was nothing short of a religious experience. I am quite literally a changed woman. The moment that man walked on stage… full body chills. My seats were basically front row and the entire concert I was gaslighting myself that he was singing directly to me. I will simply never get over this concert. |
Podcasts:
 | Giggly squad is my most listened to podcast at the moment because I am trying to catch up before seeing Hannah & Paige live in November with Ms. Carly! They were discussing co-parenting a pet with an ex. I completely agreed with their take of absolutely not. To those who are wondering - who gets to keep the dog/cat/snake? - obviously the woman. Next! Don’t create an unnecessary connection with an ex and to the gals dating a man who co-parents an animal with his ex? Run! |
Game: Dress to Impress
 Theme: Football; Left (My fit) & Right (Ms. Maddy’s fit) | Instead of movies & television I have instead been spending quality time with my sisters via Roblox. You can’t laugh at me because Alix Earle plays this game with her sisters! And if my 13 year old sister is not available… catch me playing with my 25 year old sister. It is no longer an ironic play. I live to make a fire fit and fight with children in the chat. Feel free to schedule a Roblox - Dress to Impress play date with me. |
O: OBSESSED
General: The Women’s Restroom at a Bar
 | If you know me you know this is not a new obsession. The women’s restroom at a bar is what girlhood is all about. Strangers are suddenly your long lost sisters. Your confidence is immediately through the roof because the compliments are immediately flowing. If you had to cancel on therapy this week I recommend popping into a restroom filled with drunk women for the same effect. Please feel free to share your drunk women’s restroom stories. |
Pop Culture:
 | I’m happy that I don’t know anyone personally who attended the Sweat tour at MSG this past week because I would not be happy for them. That should be me there and I am filled with envy towards everyone who was in attendance of that show. All of these icons in one show!? I just wish I was going to the Sweat tour in general but I fear Texas is not BRAT enough to get a tour date. |
R: RECOMMEND: Girl Dinner
 | Not to flex but this was the ultimate girl dinner. If you are thinking that this is way too much food, might I suggest taking a garden gummy to help with your appetite? Because with the help of those this spread will barely be enough. I always highly recommend quality time with your girls and having amazing food on top of it makes it that much better. Our itinerary for the night included eating/drinking, yapping, and games. |
T: TREAT
My treat was buying my book club books! It seems like a lame treat but pretty much all of my books are from Kindle Unlimited or the Library and my book club books are the ones I treat myself to. Being in book clubs are a treat for me because I love reading & yapping. The ultimate crossover.
SAUCY TAKE OF THE WEEK:
I’m about to give a saucy take from the perspective of a gal who’s technically Gen Z but sometimes feels like she’s stuck in a millennial meme nightmare. The number one offender? The whole “perfect mimosa ratio” joke. You know the one: some girly pop pours a microscopic droplet of orange juice into a sea of champagne and then declares that anything more is just too much OJ. Ha…Ha… I’ve seen this joke a million times and, spoiler alert, it’s never been funny. But again I don’t want to yuck anyone’s yum (although I will question it).
So, picture this: I’m scrolling through TikTok, minding my own business, when I stumble upon a video of a girl showing how to freeze orange juice at an angle to use as an ice cube for mimosas. Cute, right? Enter the MAN who stitches her video and goes on a full-blown rant about how that’s an outrageous amount of orange juice for a mimosa. I mean, he seemed to be dead serious and quite offended. If he was joking, I missed the joke and did not even crack a smile.
Look, I get it. This whole saucy take is silly and miniscule. But for the love of boozy brunch, can we please retire this joke and let people enjoy their mimosas however they want? If you’re that opposed to orange juice, might I suggest ordering your champagne neat and calling it a day? Cheers!
SAUCY STORY TIME (YAPPER WRITE-INS):
About four years ago, I put my tinder dating range up to like 40-something years old out of boredom/desperation/curiosity. I’ve always been attracted to older guys, like way older lol, but never actively dated anyone more than like 5 years older than me. Anyways! I wound up matching with this guy (we’ll call him T) and we added each other on snapchat. At the time, I was 21, he was 34. We chatted a bit on snapchat but it never really became anything. Every so often he’d reply to my stories and ask if he could take me out to dinner. I was never really interested so I always came up with an excuse. Still, T would continue to swipe up every so often, but not in a creepy way, more so supportive and friendly. A couple years later, I went to the car wash after work in my Adam Sandler-esque outfit, and I saw T across the parking lot. I didn’t realize it was him at first, just thought he was cute and looked kind of familiar. When I got home, I got a message from him that basically said “Hey I think I saw you at the car wash a little bit ago! When will you let me take you out to dinner?” I was high key embarrassed af that he saw me, but shocked I didn’t scare him off. Still, I came up with an excuse. Then a year or so later I had just gotten out of yet another situationship that destroyed me when I got another message from T shooting his shot. I said fuck it and honestly just wanted to sleep with him to get over the other guy. We went out for drinks, and it was actually pretty chill and had great convo, but we didn’t even kiss. I also learned at this point that he was divorced and has 2 kids. A few nights later we got dinner, and it was great but still not even a kiss. He wanted to see me again, but life was so busy at that point that we just never followed through and stopped talking. A couple months ago, he randomly messaged me, and we’ve been seeing each other ever since. Here’s what I need some advice on…I keep getting the ick that he was actively searching for girls as young as I was, if not younger. I know you could say the same about me looking for someone older, but it seems a bit different. He doesn’t seem to be doing it in a predatory way, but I went through the accounts he follows on Instagram and noticed there were a significant number of girls my age or like 2 years younger. I really like him but it just grosses me out when I think about it too much. I’ve never been in a real relationship and truly have no idea what one looks like, especially with a significant age gap. Advice/thoughts please!!!
LAST WEEK: The poll results are in and that Yapper is unanimously not the Asshole!
SOCIAL MEDIA CORNER:
TWEETS OF THE WEEK:
TIK TOKS OF THE WEEK:
These are your ancestors by the way
Bring back relatable music
Is there a maternity leave option for childless cat ladies!?
Me never getting over anything that has ever happened to me
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING 🍏💚🍏 COMMENTS, QUESTIONS, CONCERNS, SUGGESTIONS, WRITE-INS —--> CLICK HERE
Reply