Edition 59

Rapture

Author

Hailey Pietraszewski
September 25, 2025

Dear Gentle & Saucy Yappers,

If you are reading this, I have to assume that like myself you did not get raptured. If you have no idea what I’m talking about you did not find yourself on the side of Tik Tok where people were convinced the Rapture was happening this past Tuesday. I can’t tell if you are lucky or unlucky for missing out on that content.

xoxo, Hailey Girl

RANKING OF THE WEEK: Old Time Phrases that Need to Come Back

  1. Make Haste - the inspiration behind this ranking. I need to start saying this more

  2. You Jest - love a lil’ sassy phrase

  3. Courting - it just sound much more elegant than the ‘talking phase’

  4. Mayhaps - well yes of course!

  5. Most agreeable - everything just sounded more fancy in the regency era

R.E.P.O.R.T.

R: READING

JUST READ: The First Witch of Boston: 3.5 stars (87/156 overall ranking)

I loved the concept but I did not necessarily love the execution of the book. I was confused why this historical fiction book based on the true story of the first woman to be found of witchcraft in Massachusetts had multiple smut scenes. Also majority of the book was in her husband’s point of view. It was good but had the potential to be great.

CURRENTLY READING: Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood

I’m honestly surprised that it took me until this book being chosen as a book club read to read this book. It’s pretty popular but I just have not read it! We all know that I am team reading the book before the movie comes out so perfect timing!

E: EATING

Restaurant: Papa John’s

I kept getting ads on tik tok for the Papa Dippa and clearly those advertisements worked on me! I’m here to report that although the concept was fun, none of the dips came close to comparing to their original Garlic Dipping Sauce. Of course I did a ranking. In the future, I would just order extra garlic dipping sauces instead.

  1. Garlic Dipping Sauce

  2. Creamy Garlic Pesto

  3. Roasted Garlic Parmesan

  4. Garlic Hot Honey - this one was particularly disappointing

I made this as a side at my dinner party! I have yet to meet a pasta salad that I don’t love and this one was no exception. Unfortunately my photography skills were lacking at my dinner party, but we can trust that mine looked exactly like the professional quality seen in the linked Tik Tok.

P: PLAYING

Music:

Last week a yapper asked for work-out song recommendations and clearly I went hard with my Papa Roach recommendation. Personally I like my workout music the same way I like my dance music: anything that makes me want to move. I need high energy. I need a solid BEAT. Maybe even a little something that makes me mad. I don’t need to be mad to dance, but it does help for a workout.

Song Recommendation: Last Resort - The Rework by Papa Roach, Kayzo

Podcasts: Giggly Squad

Hannah and Paige are asking the real questions that people need the answers to! What type of pen do you prefer!? I personally will always choose a gel pen over a ball point pen but I know that gel pen haters exist. I feel that a gel pen gives me a smooth glide. It brings whimsy on to the paper! No hate to a ballpoint pen but it isn’t giving me that energy.

Go-To Pen?

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Movies: Weapons

I think I heard too much hype for this movie. Here I am to lower your expectations if you have not seen the movie yet. I was expecting to be WOWed but instead I left thinking, that movie was decent! Besides a couple of jump scares, I did not find this movie to be scary. It gave more thriller vibes which I don’t mind but my expectations were incorrect.

Rating: 6.5/10

O: OBSESSED

General: September Dinner Party

I hosted my first Dinner Party. The theme was Sexy Sub Club. Wear what makes you feel sexy with DIY subs as the main course! It was so fun to go all out for a theme and I was so happy that all of the guests wore their best sexy attire! It can’t get better than my favorite activities of yapping and eating! In my opinion the perfect dinner party has food and an activity. Since it was the first one the activities were games of Empire and Fishbowl! The ice breaker was: If you had a sandwich named after you - what would it be/what would be on it? In conclusion, it was the sexiest party I have attended.

Pop Culture: Cardi B Pregnant

Cardi B is staying in the headlines! She is pregnant with her boyfriend, Stefon Diggs’ baby! I hope he is a good baby daddy because I need my girl to find a man who will treat her right!

R: RECOMMEND: Themed Trivia

Do I or have I ever known enough about Twilight to win at Twilight trivia? No. Did I have a fun time? Yes! Luckily I had a teammate that had all the Twilight knowledge one could possibly need. With her, we only got three questions wrong for the entire six rounds. That was not enough for us to win because we were competing against Twihards!

T: TREAT: Minor League Baseball Game

Honestly if you want to be at a baseball game just for the vibes, a minor league game will do the trick. I went to the Sugar Land Space Cowboys game and had a good time! Everything was much cheaper and obviously the seats were much better. The only con was that I constantly worried about a baseball hitting my head. Many would see this as an opportunity to catch the ball but I had no interest in that.

SAUCY TAKE OF THE WEEK: Dining with Non-Tippers

Usually my stance is, “to each their own.” But if I find out that someone does not tip, I do not want to dine with them. That is embarrassing! My guilty conscience will need to tip for that person and then I’m going to be annoyed with the non-tipper. To me, tipping is a part of eating out! I’m not talking about the insane tipping culture where we are expected to tip after buying a t-shirt. I’m talking about the very standard tip after eating at a restaurant.

YAPPY HOUR: All Women are Witches?

If we were back in the olden days, this yap would have gotten me burned at the stake but I feel like every woman lowkey has a witchy power! Hopefully someone can relate to this! But I am someone that almost never remembers my dreams. But if I sleep next to someone else, I almost always remember my dream AND that person is a main character in my dream. I’m a sleeping witch!

Submit your saucy story time here!

SOCIAL MEDIA CORNER:

DATING PROFILE OF THE WEEK:

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TWEETS OF THE WEEK:

TIK TOKS OF THE WEEK:

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